I was beginning to get very frustrated a little while ago. I haven’t written a blog in a good while and I have so many drafts saved that I really wanted to get something written today. I began yet another entry and got to the second paragraph and was interrupted by my toddlers fighting over blocks. I set my phone down to go intervene and found myself losing my temper when the littlest one just wouldn’t stop pestering his sister.
And then it hit me.
My blog was the distraction, not my children. My desire to write was getting in the way of giving my children the guidance they require so frequently nowadays. It was easier when the youngest was a baby. He slept more, he sat happily playing in one spot. He rode in the carrier on my chest, just happy with my closeness. But he’s not a baby anymore, he’s a full-blown toddler. And he has a sister not much older than he. Conflict is inevitable. They are two toddlers with still-developing interpersonal relationship skills. They love each other, they want to play together, but they need guidance…a lot of it.
I chose these children. I didn’t exactly choose the timing… but when does our timing ever work as we want it to? The fact is that they are here in my life now, and they need me. They will be grown before I know it, and I will have countless hours to write down the thoughts that swirl in my head. For now, they are little. They are learning. They need a guide, and that guide is me.
Every time you wonder what I’m up to and don’t see any new posts from me, you can be sure that I am spending that time with my children and husband. I’ll be back… eventually.