Blissfully Informed Hippie Chick

Encouraging people to think critically about everything.

Who am I?

on August 3, 2017

I have been on this journey…of self-discovery. Of uncovering my true self, removing my masks, learning to love myself. 
Almost 2 years ago, I was crashing. I thought I had hit rock bottom at this point, but I wasn’t even close. I wrote this

I am…

I am…afraid.
I wonder…why I’m here.
I hear…the voices of my children.
I see…chaos all around.
I want…to disappear.
I am…terrified of dying.
I pretend…to be happy.
I feel…so very much alone.
I touch…my body, but it doesn’t feel like me.
I worry…that all hope is lost.
I cry…in silence, alone.
I am…a failure.
I understand…that I’m my own worst enemy.
I say…things I don’t believe.
I dream…of feeling free.
I try…to see the Light.
I hope…my soul can heal.
I am…afraid.

I want to re-write that now. I haven’t been re-born, I’m just becoming who I always have been. 

Allow me to introduce you to me! What makes me ME? Well, for starters…

Naked yoga on my bed…

Meditating barefoot in the grass in the early morning…

Creating things…

Wearing long, flowing skirts…

Going braless…

Having messy hair…

Taking cool showers in the hot summer heat (preferably with my husband)…

Laughing with someone over anything, as long as we’re really laughing…

Smoking weed…

Perusing the shelves of a library or bookstore…

Having wild, raucous, passionate sex for so long that I collapse into a mess on the bed/floor/couch/whatever and gasp, “I…just…can’t…move…anymore…” (and then somehow getting one last burst of energy to finish)…

Talking about anything and everything, as long as it’s real…

This is me. Raw and unfiltered. Authentic. 

And now, for a new poem…

I Am

I am…human. 
I wonder…what forever feels like. 
I hear…songs of unity and hope. 
I see…people hurting, pretending, dying. 
I want…this moment, right here. 
I am…alive!
I pretend…nothing anymore.
I feel…happy. 
I touch…the lives of everyone I meet, in some way. 
I worry…sometimes, that I won’t be able to accept each moment I’m given with grace. 
I cry…for the little girl I was. 
I am…not that little girl anymore. 
I understand…everything so clearly now.
I say…too much, sometimes. 
I dream…of peace on Earth. 
I try…to allow myself to be. 
I hope…I’ve fully enjoyed this moment. 
I am…Alicia. 

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One response to “Who am I?

  1. Luck Fawyers says:

    Deliciously you. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

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